An Empty-Nester's Christmas Poem

‘Twas days before Christmas

And all through our house

No children were stirring

It was quiet as a mouse.

----------------

The stockings were packed

With our suitcases and gifts

In the hopes that our road trip

Would be free from all glitches.

----------------

We FaceTimed our grandkids

Before they went to bed

Telling them we’d see them

"In a few sleeps," we said.

----------------

I bought a winter hat

And Papa a coat

We knew we must dress warm

Now that we’re older folks.

----------------

Our home is still festive

Though only for our eyes

I am determined that Christmas

Is celebrated and won't die.

----------------

Though no baking has happened

Nor candy canes on our tree

The lights and the garland

Bring comfort to me.

----------------

Gone are the days of

Anticipation and fun

But a new set of traditions

Are being sought out and won.

----------------

It’s true that the distance

Can bring heartache and pain

But we’re choosing to focus

On the good without shame.

----------------

For no matter how far

From our home they may move

In our hearts they’re as close

As these words are to you.

----------------

And each time we’re together

We hug with merry cheer

Grateful that God has blessed us

With another full year.

----------------

When the time comes once again

To say our good-byes

I'll hold them all close

Wiping tears from my eyes.

----------------

I've learned that each tear

Is precious to God

For He keeps them in His bottle

They represent how well we love.

----------------

So if this Christmas you find

That everything has changed

We pray you'll discover the strength

To begin new once again.

----------------

Merry Christmas from our empty-nest to yours!

I'm Back...

...and I must tell you this is the first time I didn't think in the back of my head about having to say goodbye at the end of the week. I was there in the moment and enjoyed every second. Well, except for the part when 3 year old Stella fell and broke her foot. :-( I didn't enjoy that at all. It's the first broken bone for one of our grandchildren, and she was a real trooper. I think she fared better than Mom and Nana. She was thrilled when the doctor offered her a glittery, purple cast. Thankfully, she'll only need it for four weeks. Tracy is happy too, she no longer has to carry her on her back "like a kangaroo" as Stella called it. "Hop, Mom!"

We managed to rally the gang for a much anticipated Easter photo. I say much anticipated--that was by me; the gang wasn't into it so much, but they made Nana happy.

The setting is our son's new backyard. I arrived in Atlanta on Monday and we left on Tuesday for Tennessee to visit with him and his family. I loved seeing the kids playing outside on what Ashley said was "the warmest day of the year so far." 

The laughter was contagious, everyone was so happy to be together. This was Brielle meeting her newest cousin, Phoebe for the first time. It was precious.

As I flew home I tucked away all the memories we made on this trip, grateful to have a family who wants to see me. Being a faraway nana may not have been my choice, but I'm discovering the times we share because of the distance are more precious than if we lived close to each other. If we did, I'm afraid we'd be tempted to take our abundance of time for granted and wouldn't even realize it.

So whether you're near or far from your grandchildren make the most of the time you've been given. It is a gift!

Brielle turned two

Perspective Matters

Next week I will once again get to be with all my grandchildren for a few days. I'm delivering the girls matching Easter dresses, spending time with my daughter while her husband travels for work, and hopefully going to see my son's new home that they're moving into this weekend. It will be fast, fun and full of photo opportunities. But always in the back of my mind and heart is the reality that I will have to say goodbye....again! 

Our pastor said something this past Sunday that helped me so much in embracing the distance.

"If my children grow up and live all over the map of the world, yet love God and are doing what He's called them to do, I will rejoice! That's the whole point of parenting--training our children to grow up and continue the race they've been called to run. It doesn't matter what their address is, it matters where their heart is!" - Aron Osborne, Metro Life Church

As I pack my bags this time I'm taking with me this perspective. 

It doesn't weigh anything, the TSA employees won't pull me aside to ask about it, but my heart will be lighter like the balloon in this cartoon as I won't be carrying the weight of regret and disappointment.

How has a changed perspective helped you adjust to saying goodbye?

The Adventures of Achoo Bunny

Last week I shared with you all about Achoo Bunny. This week I made a video of all his antics to give as a keepsake to my little people. I thought you'd like to see it too.

I spent hours trying to figure out how to make my own video using iMovies on my Mac. When I couldn't get it to work for me, I settled for Plan B. (It's always good to have a Plan B). I used my old phone to video the movie my smart phone put together for me. Sorry it's not the best quality, but when you're doing things for little people those things don't bother them at all.

And you'll also notice my youngest daughter texted me in the middle of the recording. Glad it was her and not a private text from my hubby. ;-)

I Found My Laughing Place

As a Faraway Nana one of my biggest disappointments is missing many of my grandchildren's firsts--first loose tooth, first time on the potty, first time rolling over...you name it. It's tempting to think you'll miss out on all of those special moments because of the distance.

But God!

Those are two words that never cease to amaze me. Certainly there are many firsts I have and will miss. But there are many that God has blessed me with experiencing first hand. This past week was a perfect example.

We were able to go with our daughter and her family to Walt Disney World for the first time. Seeing the joy on their faces was...worth.every.dollar (penny doesn't fit when you're talking about the Kingdom of the Mouse!) :-)

I soaked up all the memories knowing I would have to feed my soul on days when the distance gets the best of me and I'm sad.

I have to share with you one of my favorite memories...it was seeing our three-year old granddaughter, Stella, experience her very first roller coaster.

You never know how they're going to respond. This video delighted my soul. Makes me think of this quote from Song of the South...

Johnny: I wish I had a Laughing Place

Ginny: Me, too.

Uncle Remus: What make you think you ain't? Course you got a Laughing Place.

 Johnny: Really, Uncle Remus?

Ginny: Really?

Uncle Remus: Everybody's got one. The trouble is, most folks won't take time to go look for it.

Johnny, Ginny: Where's mine?

Uncle Remus: Well, now, that I can't exactly say. 'Cause where 'tis for one mightn't be where 'til for another.

Johnny: Come on, Ginny. Let's start looking.  

I think Stella found her laughing place--and you know what? I think I've found mine too!

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah!

If A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words, then...

...my heart is filled with volumes.

My daughter and daughter-in-love do an amazing job of helping me be a part of their daily lives. 

• I get texts of quotes from my grandchildren that make me laugh-out-loud. 

• I get close-up photos of little Phoebe's eyes, saying 'will they stay blue?' We pray so.

• I get videos of Bradley shooting one of his first baskets during his Upwards Basketball game.
• I get FaceTime calls from my nearly two-year old granddaughter who says she wants to call "Nina" and sing her Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.
• I get videos of Brielle who at 22 months has the vocabulary of a three year old, trying to say 'cantaloupe."

Click here to view

• I get to sit next to Norah via FaceTime as she shows me her very own iPod and what it can do. She even set me up on her desk so she could show me how she's improving her cart wheels. :-)
• I get photos of beautiful coloring pages completed with love for Nana.

• And I get to read to my oldest granddaughters who cling on every word of the story. Except for this last time when Norah was drawn away from listening because the sun was shining on an unusually warm January day in GA. She kept looking out the window, and I completely understood because if I had been there with her that's exactly what I would have done too.

It's true, our world became much smaller when the Internet and Social Media came along. But there's nothing that can replace the feel of snuggling a baby close to your chest or kissing the cheeks of a giggling toddler. Those times are reserved for our face to face gatherings. But I must admit I'm grateful for the pictures I carry in my heart each and every day.

If you are a Faraway Nana like me, I encourage you to connect as often as possible with your grandchildren in any way you can. The time goes by too fast to waste a moment or a tear or a laugh with them. And they need to know that even though miles separate us we carry them close in our hearts 24/7.

I'd love to hear your stories of making the distance more bearable.

(Book shelf photo credit: inafurniture.com)

Waiting For And Welcoming Phoebe Wren To Our Family

In October were privileged to stay in Tennessee for 3 weeks to wait for the birth of our 8th grandchild to our son and his wife. Phoebe Wren (their 4th) was due mid-October so we got there a week early hoping to have plenty of time to meet her, hold her and help as much as needed.

Tom found us a little cottage on Airbnb.com that turned out to be perfect in every way. It was on an 5th generation dairy farm in a little town called College Grove south of Franklin. With one bedroom, a tiny kitchen and an even tinier bathroom, we managed to make it our home for our time there.

Now for our Phoebe story. The plan was for us to go to Jason and Ashley's home when she went into labor and watch their three kids so they could go to the birthing center, located about 15 minutes North in Nashville.

Ashley passed her due date, so she started getting a daily gift from me to ease the disappointment. This is a fun tradition she has enjoyed from me because she has always been late. <sigh>   I also spent time writing Phoebe's very own song from Nana. This another tradition I started with Bristol and have continued doing with all of my grandchildren.

On Saturday night, October 24th at 11:20p. Jason texted to say Ashley's water had broken. Yay! And OH NO! We were 15 minutes south of their home. We managed to get in the car in 7 minutes flat! Amazing, but it wasn't good enough. Jason called again to say they couldn't wait--they were waking the kids up and taking them with them to the birthing center. We said we'd meet them there.

We arrived in the parking lot right behind them at midnight. Ashley had just been taken to the birthing room, the nurse was there, but the midwife had yet to show up. We walked into the dimly-lit lobby to find our half-asleep grandchildren looking bewildered and concerned for their mom. Tom and I figured we'd wait to make sure all was well with Ashley before loading them back up and taking them home to bed.

At 12:05a. the nurse came in the lobby to get some water. I asked her if she had any idea how long it would be? I'll  never forget her response...

"Oh, she's already delivered. Both are doing fine!"

What!? We couldn't believe how close she was to delivering Phoebe in the car. And we thanked God for making it there just in time. A few minutes later we were allowed in to meet her for the first time. It was an amazing moment to see Bristol (8), Willow (6) and Vito (2) meet their new sister, and she has won our hearts.

I must admit that leaving Nashville knowing that I wouldn't be there for all the newborn moments was difficult. I soaked up all the cuddles and snuggles I could to last me until the next time I would see her.



God is helping me let go of what I've always wanted to embrace what His plans are for us and for them, and it is good.

Happy New Year!

All Or Nothing

One of the hardest things about living faraway from my grandchildren is not having them around on a regular basis. I miss knowing what their favorite snacks are, what they eat for breakfast, and what their regular routines are. I miss doing life together in hourly segments...an afternoon here, an evening there...meeting for lunch before nap time. All the ways you can connect in short increments of time.

Since my little people moved away I only see them when we've planned extended time together. And it usually happens a week at a time--all day, every day. It's exhausting since I'm not used to it, and that makes me sad.

The hardest thing when we have time together is entering their world fast and being fully engaged. I'm not used to the busyness of toddlers, the constant demands of children, the noise, the laughter, the fighting, but I want to be. Which makes me sad once again with the distance that separates us.

This Friday my daughter and her husband will be driving to our home so we can watch their four children while they go on a cruise to celebrate their 10th anniversary. (Can we just pause for a minute to celebrate the fact that we have a daughter who has been married for a decade? It blesses my heart to no end knowing that both my son and daughter are married to their best friend and that they want to continue to build their marriage for God's glory. What a miracle this is in this day and age, and something I never want to take for granted.) I'm so excited they get to come to my house. We can swim in our pool, go for walks around the block, color on the sidewalk and go out for lunch with Papa.

But first I have to get my house Stella-proof....

She is the curious one (almost 3) who never stops for a moment. I'm afraid there are many things in Nana's House that will be far too tempting for her to resist, so I must get on my knees and look at my home from her vantage point.

I'm slowly getting used to the All or Nothing aspect of being the Nana to seven (soon-to-be eight!) little people. It takes more effort to stay connected when we're far away, and even more effort to enjoy the connection when we're close. But I wouldn't change a thing! The blessing of these children in my life is incalculable no matter the miles that separate us.

How about you? How has this all or nothing aspect affected you and how have you dealt with it?

4 Ways To Make The Distance Easier

WELCOME to The Faraway Nana. This blog is dedicated to helping women who are separated from their little people find ways to express their love in meaningful ways. This first post came from my author blog, Debi Gray Walter, where I shared my heart with my readers. I have considered starting a blog for this purpose, and I suppose now is the time. Are you interested? Need ideas? Need a friend who understands the distance and heartache associated with living in our ever-expanding world. Then this is the place for you. You're always welcome--won't you sign up so as not to miss a single post? I would love the company--after all my house is pretty quiet most days.

-----------------------------------------------------

Four Ways To Make The Distance Easier

As most of you know, all 7 of my grandchildren now live far away from me. It has been a difficult and emotional transition for me–one where I’ve shed many tears, and prayed often for God to help me see this new season from His perspective. And He has!

What I miss most as the Faraway Nana is being able to do fun things with them in my home–like baking, reading, picking flowers, going for walks around the block, watching their favorite movies while munching on hot, buttered popcorn, coloring pictures and playing Polly Pockets–to name just a few.

I was having one of those days when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself when God dropped an idea into my head. My four oldest grandchildren tell me often that they miss Nana’s House, which has always been like a jab to heart. But this time God gave me an idea, and a new tradition was born.

NANA’S HOUSE NEWSLETTER

I told Bristol, Norah, Willow and Bradley that if they couldn’t come to Nana’s House, then Nana’s House would come to them. :-) I began publishing a monthly newsletter called Nana’s House. In it I put personal notes, little contests, crafts and something they can all enjoy from the 7 year olds down to the babies. When finished I stuff all the supplies needed for the crafts as well as candy treats into the Priority Mail Flat Rate small box and send it on its way. I take a picture of the receipt with the tracking number and text it to my daughters, so the kids can know when their little package will arrive.

This has helped me more that I could have ever imagined. I still get to go to the craft store and pick out something special for them to do. I still get to highlight funny things they’ve said or done. I still get to hear their voices squeal with excitement when they see another newsletter is on its way. The only thing I haven’t figured out how to do is hug their little necks and do nosies with them. Which brings me to the next thing I’ve done to help with the distance…

SKYPING

What fun we have had Skyping, and now using Google Hangouts (which works better when you are connecting three phones). We have colored Easter Eggs together, baked cookies and read books. I’m currently reading a series of books to the girls titled, The Doll People. They color while I read to them, and it has been wonderful. I love how they have absorbed the story and beg me, “Nana, just one more chapter–pleeeaaassssee?” We’re currently on book two, The Meanest Doll In The World. After this there are two more, so I think we’ll be able to enjoy this adventure together for quite a while.

My younger grandchildren love to talk with Nana on FaceTime because they can carry me with them to their room to see their new toys. I have had the best conversations with Stella (aged 2) all the while looking at the ceiling. She takes the phone to her room, sets me on her kitchen set and fixes me the best cups of coffee. I’m always asking her to prop me up so I can see her face. We are still working on that one, but I wouldn’t trade staring at her bedroom ceiling for anything. She’s precious.

WRITING LETTERS

I love writing. I love penmanship. I’ve heard that public schools are no longer teaching handwriting, and it makes me sad to realize this is going away. I always loved learning to write my letters. I practiced over and over again, until I like how it looked. This gave me an idea to start writing letters to my grandchildren once they learn to read. I print until they learn cursive writing. Once they do, I will write to them in cursive. The younger ones who can’t yet read, don’t like that the older ones get this special treat. But, I pray it will motivate them to learn to read for themselves. Cards are also a fun treat for the younger ones when it’s not their birthdays. Such an inexpensive way to show them how special they are to me. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Being far away from those you love is not easy, especially since they grow up so fast. For a long time I resisted finding joy in the distance, but I’m beginning to see that there is much good that happens when miles separate you from those you love. In this day and age we can still connect in ways my grandmother would have never imagined possible. When she moved away from her family to Jenks, Oklahoma, she didn’t know if she would ever see their faces or hear their voices again. Their only means of communication was through snail mail–although back then, it was delivered by horse. We are blessed that no matter how faraway you are, you can connect in so many ways as often as you like. What a small world.

Are you separated from your little people? I hope my ideas will inspire you to embrace the distance and make it something special.

BLESSINGS!

The Faraway Nana

Follow TFN by clicking below. Thanks!